Religious School

December 2008 Messenger

12/16/2008
Make This Hanukkah a Special Family Affair

Every December/Kislev I say to myself, "no, I'm not going to write about Hanukkah again. What else can I say about this holiday that I haven't said before?"

Well, here it is, that time of year again. At the end of December this year, we will be celebrating that most misunderstood of Jewish holidays (by Jews and non-Jews alike). Certainly because a relatively minor Jewish holiday falls around the same time as that major Christian holiday, the two have become conflated in modern American society as "The Holiday Season". But as a Jewish educator, I feel (still) it's my duty to make the clear distinction to parents and children alike, that the two holidays are separate and very different. Despite what the commercials and retail outlets say.

This year, use Hanukkah as a meaningful teaching opportunity for your family to show how the real significance of Hanukkah is the importance of resisting assimilation (in its 21st century form). We can honor and respect all religions and their concurrent holidays at this time of year and at the same time, celebrate our Jewish life and all of its many benefits.

I would like to share an excellent list of recommended activities that your family can participate in from my colleague, Seena Bullmash, director of the Joan E. Bobrow Early Childhood Center in Potomac, Maryland:

"Talking to your children about the challenges you, your parents and your grandparents faced as a minority. Talk to children about our incredible Jewish history and the Jewish people's God given will to survive even when facing impossible odds.
Use Hanukkah as a time to have a family discussion about the danger of assimilation and about each generation's responsibility to pass on the very special "gift" of being Jewish. Children are never too young to hear this message. When my children were small, I would show them my chain link bracelet and explain that if one link of the bracelet breaks or one link of the Jewish people breaks apart, the consequences of a broken bracelet or a shattered Jewish people can be permanent.
Encourage children to talk about their feelings of inundation or confusion at this time of year. Early childhood years and early school years are when children are sorting out their individual identities. While vacationing during winter break, and staying in hotels with Christmas trees and ornate holiday decorations in the lobby, my children would feel a bit overwhelmed when they were young. At first my husband and I were embarrassed when our children would ask perfect strangers in the swimming pool if they were "Christmas or Hanukkah," but then we realized that this was their way of sorting out their and other peoples' identities. My children will now proudly tell stunned hotel and restaurant employees, who ask them how their Christmas was, that Christmas is not their holiday because they are maturing with a strong sense of identity and love for their own faith.
Rethink your family's practices and means of celebration if you are not enjoying Hanukkah. Hanukkah is a minor Jewish holiday; it is not mentioned in the Torah because the history involved in the story post-dates the Five Books of Moses. The first time our sages began discussing and recording directives regarding the observances of Hanukkah, they were sure to center the holiday focus on the miracle of the oil. The miracle of the oil demonstrated the power of God and not on the might and fighting ability of the Jewish rebels that overturned Syrian-Greek rule.
Teach children about the courage and heroism of our Jewish ancestors, but be careful not to forget to credit their victory to God. When we place the credit where it is due, we reinforce the belief in our faith that God has a hand in all good things that come to us.
Incorporate holiday customs and practices that have educational value and a deep meaning for children. Give each child his or her own individual menorah so that the whole house is aglow each holiday evening. Encourage your children to display his or her own menorah in their room year round with other Judaic items so they become used to including Jewish items in their personal living space.
Think of ways to break away from the cycle of children "receiving" gifts on Hanukkah. Many families have developed new holiday rituals where children give holiday gifts. Families can designate each holiday night for a different type of giving. Each year, during Hanukkah, my children go through toys, books and clothes they no longer use and bring them to a pediatric floor or hospitals and to shelters to experience sharing with others.
Most importantly, fill your homes with all the wonderful smells, sounds, sights and tastes of Hanukkah that you remember as being special. Remember that young children especially learn through their five senses and be sure to include children in holiday preparations for a complete learning experience. Expose children to the beauty and warmth of our faith not only on Hanukkah, but also on Rosh Hashanah, Sukkot, Tu B'Shevat, Purim, Pesach, Shavuot, and especially on Shabbat. Parents are Jewish children's most important role models."

I hope you and your family have a warm and meaningful Hanukkah!

Donald Cohen
Education Director
eddirector@tbibluebell.org


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